


baby monitor protocol

by transpeterparker (partlycharlie)



Series: peter parker: resident Man [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers Tower, Bad Situations, Coming Out, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Men Crying, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Protectiveness, Star Wars References, Stark Tower, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Peter Parker, Transgender, also i accidentally put FRIDAY as a character instead of JARVIS, anyway, binders, binding, but not really, god bless, let me tell you how much i fucking LOVE that tag oh my god, love that boy, love that tag, not like this though, oh god which one is this??? it's ambiguous everything is fine, peter wanted to come out, so many tags that almost definitely reroute to the same link, sorry bout that, there's no tag?, this is transphobia, very minor ones but i thought i'd put the tag there anyway, why isnt there a tag for binders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-08-11 18:04:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20157802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partlycharlie/pseuds/transpeterparker
Summary: Tony resists the urge to press a kiss to Peter’s forehead, though the mask.You’re wearing the faceplate,a voice says, and then something else says,Lift the faceplate,and he seriously considers it, but then the first voice says,The kid’s having a fucking panic attack,and he agrees that maybe that should take priority right now.(or: peter comes out, but even he didn't see it coming.)





	1. in-and-out

**Author's Note:**

> hey kids! sorry it's taken so long to get out another fic; i've been dealing with some family stuff (my grampa's in the hospital) and mental things (depression can smd), but. here's this! woot woot!
> 
> uh warnings: possible panic attack, unexpected coming out, spying? i guess? basically tony's watching peter but pete doesn't know in that moment

“J, activate the  _ Baby Monitor Protocol.” _

_ Activating. _

A hologram springs up - three cameras (one body cam, two eye cameras), as well as a chart. Blood pressure, heartbeat, breathing, blood oxygen levels… the works.

“Oxygen’s a little low,” he murmurs, eyes narrowed as he watches the body cam. Spidey’s webbing through - Flushing, if Tony has to guess.

_ Well within acceptable parameters, sir. _

_ “Karen, you hear that?”  _ Peter says suddenly, stopping on a rooftop, and Tony frowns - he hadn’t heard anything.

Karen’s scans come through to the left of the cameras and, shit, Peter’s right - there’s a scuffle going on a couple of blocks away.

God, how good  _ is  _ Peter’s hearing?

_ Yes,  _ Karen says into Peter’s ear, and Jarvis says into Tony’s,  _ you are correct. Three blocks forward, one avenue to your left. _

Peter swings to a rooftop and goes from there, leaping across gaps and webbing his way through the streets until he reaches what looks like a robbery taking place.

The body cam goes dark for a couple of seconds, but Tony can see from the eye cameras that Peter’s scaling down the wall of the building next to them.

He stops right above them; Tony thinks maybe he’s waiting to see if either of them will notice him. They don’t - the mugger’s holding a gun out, hands shaking (what is that about?), and the man opposite him is desperately rifling through his book bag.

“Hey, guys,” Spidey says, “how’s it hangin’?”

The guy (muggee? Mug victim?) freezes, hand still buried in his bag. He looks up and his mouth drops wide open when he sees who it is.

The mugger looks up too, and a series of things happen:

The mugger drops his gun;

The muggee (there’s no way that’s the right term) yanks his hand out of his bookbag and runs;

Peter shoots out a web and binds the mugger’s wrist to his side.

(That last bit would’ve been especially helpful, had the mugger not already dropped the gun.)

“Ah, shit,” Peter says immediately, dropping to the ground and walking towards the guy. He walks backward and Peter steps forward (smartly, Tony thinks), looking scared shitless.

Peter just keeps talking, though. “Sorry, man, I, uh - didn’t realize you’d dropped the gun, I totally would’ve stopped myself, I mean - wait, no, don’t touch it - here, I’ll fix it -” and the mugger’s pretty much relaxed at this point, because Tony’s never seen anyone stay tense in the face of Peter’s babbling, so Peter grabs some sort of canister from  _ somewhere  _ and sprays it onto the webbing, and it disintegrates.

“Oh. Um. Thanks?”

Spidey shrugs (well - the body cam bounces up and down and Tony makes an informed assumption). “No worries. You want a sandwich or something? I’ve got 10 bucks, I can buy you a coffee and a granola bar or something?”

The mugger’s mouth drops open. “What? Wh-why?”

“Well, first off, the gun wasn’t loaded. I could see that even when I was crawling down. Your hands are still shaking,” and the guy shoves his hands into his jacket pockets, “and you’ve had those clothes for a couple of years but they’re still really loose on you, and your cheeks are hollow, and - well. I, uh. I know what hunger looks like, man.”

_ Oh, Jesus. _

Before he can respond, Tony says, “J, turn it off,” and sighs.

He’s seen enough.

\---

The next time Tony activates the protocol, Peter’s just finished webbing up a baddie, leaving a note tucked into his chest that reads,  _ TRIED TO ROB SAMMY’S >:( _

What a fucking kid, Tony thinks absentmindedly as the kid swings off. 

Oddly enough, though, Peter doesn’t go too much farther, only swinging a couple of blocks until he lands on a rooftop, tumbling a bit more than usual.

“J, what’s going on? Why’d he stop?”

_ I’m not sure, sir,  _ Jarvis says, more hesitant than usual, and Tony hates when J gets that tone of voice because it means whatever it is, Tony’s not going to like it.

Tony takes a glance at the vitals board and immediately knows something is up. Everything’s kind of off - heartbeat’s too fast, even for the exercise that Peter’s doing, his temperature’s fluctuating like crazy, and the breathing rate - oh, shit, that’s off the charts. 

“Jarvis, what the hell - what’s happening -”

Peter cuts him off.  _ “Karen, initiate In and Out Protocol.”  _

(Tony has to take a second to laugh - god, he doesn’t even know what the protocol means, but it’s gotta be good with a name like that.)

Karen, and Jarvis by default (who Tony set up to relay anything Karen says while Tony’s listening because she speaks directly into his ears), start counting off, their voices oddly soothing - even more than normal.

_ In - two, three, four - hold - two, three, four - out, two, three, four - hold - two, three, four - in... _

“Jarvis?”

Jarvis stops relaying Karen’s counting, but Tony can still hear it distantly through Peter’s audio.  _ Yes, sir? _

“What’s the In and Out protocol?”

_ It appears that the protocol is used whenever Peter is having difficulty breathing for any reason, during which time Karen instructs him in regulating his breathing. _

“So, what, like - panic attacks?”

_ Yes, sir. _ There’s a long pause, like Jarvis is thinking (which - yes, Tony is perfectly aware that Jarvis doesn’t technically think, thank you very much), before he continues.

_ However. I’m sure you are aware that anxiety and panic attacks are generally accompanied by a rise in heart rate, sometimes temperature, along with hyperventilation and sometimes crying. I scanned through previous footage, and it appears there are times when Peter initiates the In and Out protocol even though his vitals are normal. _

Tony frowns. “So then why would he do it?”

_ I’m afraid I don’t know, sir. _

Tony frowns again, deeper this time.

(When did he start to develop levels of frowning? Is this a parental thing?)

Before Tony can speak again, Peter does instead, muttering a curse under his breath.

_ "Karen - Karen, you gotta - call Tony -” _

_ Calling Mister Dad. _

WHAT?

Tony’s butt starts buzzing, Jarvis tells him  _ you have an incoming phone call from “Underoos,” sir,  _ and Tony decides to shove that nickname into a box and examine it later (or never).

“Hey, kid,” Tony says into the phone, aiming for casual and probably missing by a mile.

(Clint would be ashamed.)

“Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Come get me, please,” he pleads, voice so low Tony can barely hear him.

“Yeah - yeah, okay.” The suit is already forming around him. “Where are you?”

Peter huffs out a snort, but it’s weak, and that more than anything else is what makes Tony worried. “I know you have a GPS on me. Just - come pick me up.”

“Okay - wait, shit - did you get stabbed again?”

“No, Tony, I’m fine.”

Tony takes off. “If you say so. I’ll be there soon. Hang on tight, okay?”

Peter huffs out a laugh, says, “Always,” and hangs up the phone.

\---

“Spidey? Kid, what’s - what can I do, kiddo, you gotta help me out here - is it the suit? C’mon, kid, what’s going on -”

“Just - Mr. Stark, take me home, please,” he says, taking small, gasping breaths. 

Tony starts taking deep breaths inside the suit, as if that’ll help at all with whatever Peter’s going through. “Okay - yeah, okay.” 

Tony hefts Peter up and into his arms, and it’s the weirdest thing - Peter doesn’t even try to fight it. He just winds his arms around the suit’s shoulders, wraps his legs around the suit’s waist, presses his head into his neck.

Tony resists the urge to press a kiss to Peter’s forehead, though the mask.  _ You’re wearing the faceplate,  _ a voice says, and then something else says,  _ Lift the faceplate,  _ and he seriously considers it, but then the first voice says,  _ The kid’s having a fucking panic attack,  _ and he agrees that maybe that should take priority right now.

“Wait - um -”

“The Tower, Tony.”

_ The Tower - home - tower - home - _

Tony swallows around the lump in his throat and says, “Yeah, of course, kid.”

\---

Once Tony lays Peter on the couch, he immediately presses the logo on his chest, deflating the suit and frantically trying to pull the suit off of his arms. Tony reaches over to help (and again, Pete doesn’t even resist), pulls the suit off and down to his waist, stops at Peter’s hips and lets go.

Peter’s wearing some sort of - wifebeater (say undershirt, say undershirt), maybe, except it seems really tight around the chest and it’s made of a different sort of fabric once it hits Peter’s rib... area.

“J - Jarvis, what is this?”

A hologram pops up in front of him, looking something like a series of Google searches.

_ Binding - ACE - breasts - gender - trans -  _

Oh. Oh, shit.

“Uhhh - okay. Can I cut it off?”

“NO!” Peter’s hands fly to cover his chest. “No, it’s my only one.”

“It’s your  _ only _ -” Tony cuts himself off, types  _ buy binders ???  _ into his phone, takes a deep breath. “Okay. Right. So - how do you want to do this? I - I want you to be comfortable, Pete.”

Peter snorts. “Thanks for the concern, Mr. Stark,” he says, smiling to soften the blow, “but I don’t think there’s any way to swing this - ha - without a little bit of discomfort, so. Um - okay. Can you - do we have a shirt?”

There’s a knock on the door. Tony walks over (walks, not runs, he just has short legs so he has to move faster, okay?), opens it, and a t-shirt is sitting on the floor.

“Um. Yep.”

He shakes it out. It’s a Black Sabbath shirt.  _ Of course. _

“Cool, okay -” Peter’s lifted the edge of the binder - shirt - thing up so that it looks more like a crop top, and when he sees that Tony’s looking he lifts his arms up. “- so just. Pull up? And when I tell you to, close your eyes.”

“Okay.”

Tony puts the shirt on the couch. He reaches forward to grab the binder then pauses. “Um. What - what part of it do I -“

“The bottom hem is fine.”

“Okay.”

Tony grabs and pulls, and Peter sort of, like, shimmies a little bit, and Tony feels something give, and Peter says, “Close!” kind of nervous, so Tony closes his eyes and keeps pulling until Peter says, “You can let go now,” and Tony does.

He waits. Eventually Peter says, “You can - oh my god, Tony, you can open your eyes now.”

Tony very carefully doesn’t look down. “You okay?”

Peter shrugs. His shoulders are curling in on themselves, and Tony resists the urge to push them back. He knows what Peter’s trying to hide. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Well, then,” Tony says, ruffling the kid’s hair. “Movie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> up next: movies, talks, hugs? maybe?


	2. a new hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Um.” Peter’s voice is tight, his shoulders are hunched up, and every instinct Tony has is screaming at him to HUG THE POOR CHILD, but he doesn’t because you don’t interrupt a parental discussion with hugging.  
(Or maybe you do? Tony as no reference for these kinds of things. It’s not like he really had parents, anyway.)  
(Well, Maria was there, but.)  
(And - Ana and Jarvis did the best they could, but really they were just employees, and actually if Tony thinks about it they kind of had a financial obligation to be nice to Tony, so who knows if they really -  
Best not to think about it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey kids! hope you weren't DYING with excitement over this latest update, but here you go!
> 
> (also my grandpas out of the hospital so thats cool)
> 
> warnings for like. peter cries, i guess. it is what it is.
> 
> EDIT: due to uhhhhhh technical malfunctions this is being reposted; sorry to anybody who's getting this notification again! it's the same chapter. sorry

They put on _ A New Hope _first, because Peter looks at Tony with puppy dog eyes and Tony has to hold himself back from telling the kid he can have literally everything he wants.

(He can, but that’s beside the point.)

So - Peter’s like, “Star Wars?” with those big eyes and that hopeful little expression on his face and his fingers twisting into the fabric of TONY’s shirt, and Tony sighs and says, “Fine, but none of that prequel bullshit.”

Peter’s eyes narrow. “What kind of freak do you think I am? _ A New Hope, _first, always.”

Tony puffs out a sigh, holding his hand to his chest. “Thank god.”

(Peter’s not a heathen, it seems, unlike _ some _other people Tony knows.

Yeah, lookin’ at you, Rhodey.)

Anyway.

_ A New Hope _ is playing, right around the part where Luke gets his lightsaber, and Peter’s looking down at his fingernails like this isn’t _ literally _his favorite movie, so Tony knows something is wrong.

So, he goes, “Everything alright, kid?”

(This is entirely unrelated, but what is going _ on _ with his train of thought these days? Tony feels like some kind of weird _ Godfather _ storyteller, the way he’s narrating.

He digresses.)

“Hmm?” Peter’s head jerks up and he shoves his hands under his thighs. “No, no, everything’s fine.”

“Right.”

He stares at the screen for a couple more minutes, but he’s not really seeing what’s going on.

Tony takes a slow breath. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, carefully not looking away from the screen.

He doesn’t have to look at Peter to see the way he freezes, though.

“Um.” Peter’s voice is tight, his shoulders are hunched up, and every instinct Tony has is screaming at him to _ HUG THE POOR CHILD_, but he doesn’t because you don’t interrupt a parental discussion with hugging.

(Or maybe you do? Tony as no reference for these kinds of things. It’s not like he really had parents, anyway.)

(Well, Maria was there, but.)

(And - Ana and Jarvis did the best they could, but really they were just employees, and actually if Tony thinks about it they kind of had a financial obligation to be nice to Tony, so who knows if they really -

Best not to think about it.)

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Tony says as if Peter hadn’t said anything. (He hadn’t, not really so pretending isn’t that hard.) “But - I dunno. Figured if you wanted to talk about it - have a discussion, or something - that this might be the best time to do it?”

Tony’s kept his eyes firmly trained on Obi-Wan Kenobi the whole time, but he risks a glance to his side and Peter’s sitting there, knees curled into his chest, tears dripping down his face, completely silent.

Jesus _ Christ. _

_ HUG HIM, _ his instincts say (scream, more like), and he does, scooching over and wrapping his arms tight around the kid. “Hey, kiddo, it’s alright,” he says, eyebrows furrowed with the knowledge that it is more than likely _ not _alright.

God, being a parent is hard.

Peter’s hiccuping, suddenly loud, and his arms wrap feebly around Tony's waist, and he burrows into Tony's chest, and he’s obviously trying to say something but he’s crying too hard for Tony to hear it, and Tony’s _ heart _ is _ breaking. _

He cradles the back of Peter’s head with one hand, trails his fingers down the parts of Peter’s face he can reach with the other, shushes him as gently as he can manage. Rocks them back and forth a little bit. Pulls Peter into his lap a little bit, just enough so that he can curl around Peter. Carefully ignores the two pockets of pressure on his stomach.

Mumbles _ it’s okay, _ and _ you’re alright, _ and _ just breathe, _ and _ just breathe with me, _ and _ everything’s going to be okay, I promise. _

He loses track of time, almost, stuck in this loop of comforting and rocking and comforting and shushing. 

The movie is paused. Tony doesn’t know when that happened.

“-rry-”

“Hmm?” Tony tilts his head closer to Peter’s.

“Sorry,” the kid mumbles, head pressed into Tony’s chest.

Tony frowns. “For what?”

He shrugs. “Crying.” Peter lifts a hand and wipes at the snot there before Tony can say anything. 

Gross, but Tony probably has snot all over his shirt, so. Whatever.

“Everybody cries sometimes, Pete. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

Peter doesn’t respond, but Tony’s a little dumbfounded at what he just said, so maybe it’s for the best.

_ Nothing to be ashamed of? _ Since when did he talk like _ that? _Or think that, even? 

Talk about sentimentality. Jesus.

“Okay,” Peter says, rubbing harshly at his eyes, “okay, okay, okay, okay -”

“Kid, we don’t have to talk about it now -”

“- no, no, I want to, we have to, it’s fine.”

“Okay. If you’re sure.” Peter dislodges himself from Tony (who’s arms suddenly feel a little cold, but it’s fine) and seats himself on the other side of the couch. His legs cross underneath him and his hands fold into themselves on his lap, but overall Peter’s gone still in a way that’s a little discomforting to Tony. “Um, okay.”

Tony stays silent. Peter's shoulders are curved in on themselves.

“So, you saw the binder,” he mumbles, looking at his hands, “and - and JARVIS showed you the Google searches and stuff, so.”

“Yeah,” Tony confirms, quiet.

“So. I, uh.” Peter blows out a rough breath. “I’m. Trans - transgender.”

Tony takes a second, blows out a breath, lets it sink in. Allows himself the guilty thought: _ God, I didn’t sign up for this. _Shoves that away; now’s not the time. “Okay. Thank you for trusting me with this.” His voice comes out strained, maybe, his throat a little clogged up.

Peter winces. He still isn’t looking up. “It’s - you don’t have to pretend to be okay with it, it’s fine if you’re not -”

“Peter, look at me.” It takes a second but he does, shoulders hunched. Tony tries for a sympathetic smile. He’s not sure how it comes out, but Peter’s shoulders sag and his frown evens out a little bit, so Tony thinks it’s probably fine.

“I’m so glad you told me,” Tony says. “And - and I swear, I’m not mad, or disappointed, or upset that you’re trans, okay? I promise I’m okay with this. I’m not going to disown you, or throw you out, and I’m going to try my best to help.”

Peter’s eyes go a little wide. “Really?”

“Yeah, kiddo,” Tony murmurs, smiling softly. “In fact - what do you need, honestly? Are there - surgeries? Or special hormones or something? Or - oh, I don’t know, I don’t know nearly enough about this sort of thing, Jarvis, pull up some stuff for -”

Peter cuts him off. Not with words, though; Peter lunges for him and basically knocks him over with a hug. His arms close around Tony’s waist, fingers squeezing into his back, and Tony flails around for a second before he returns the hug.

“Thank you,” Peter whispers, a little desperately, into his ear.

“Of course,” he responds, and that’s the last either of them speaks for a long while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> subscribe to the series, gents! next up: peter and tony watch love, simon. :)


End file.
